Curls and Overall Confusion.
Where my curly hair journey all began!
When thinking about what I wanted out of starting this newsletter, I was completely stuck. Though curly hair has quite literally always been a part of me, and there is a lot I can say on the matter, I sat staring at my laptop screen for over an hour not knowing where to even get started.
So I went on my phone, as a girl does, and found myself scrolling as far back as my camera roll would let me, and looking at old baby pictures of myself, and of my wild hair. My curls in all different styles, from my childhood mini Afro to my tween butt length curls, to my teenage short curly cut, which turned into my ginger dyed hair, all the way until the middle length cut that I have right now.
I could tell countless stories about my life and how my hair has played a large part in every one. I could even underline how different parts of my life have made me cut my hair in the ways that I did. But for now, I am just going to start as simple, and as far back as I can.
As a kid I had about the curliest set of hair a girl could have, and definitely the curliest set of hair in the family. The only person who was able to match my curls was my older sister, but her curls came more from her mother than anything. I on the other hand could not exactly pinpoint who I got my curls from. I knew my dark hair was from my dad, and I knew that before I was born my mom had thicker curls, but growing up I didn’t have a strong visual of curls from anyone I grew up with in my family other than myself. This is not to say that my family did not have curly hair, because they did, it just felt different.
It also didn’t help my confidence that there wasn’t any representation of curly hair on TV or in movies. I vividly remember watching The Princess Diaries and being so disappointed when Anne Hathaway’s character glow-up meant straightening her hair and blowing it out instead of embracing it or treating it properly. My hair was just as big and frizzy as hers.
My older sister was the only person I saw constantly whose hair was similar to mine, so most of the time if I wanted a certain hairstyle, or for someone to fix it for me, she would do her best. If she wasn’t around then the job went on to my mom.
When my hair was at its longest was truly when we struggled the most. It almost felt like I was living in a sorry reenactment of Tangled, except I wasn’t a princess, and my mom, though she would brush my hair, wasn’t my prince.
I don’t think my family ever did a poor job of taking care of my curls, but I do feel that I went the majority of my life not knowing how to treat my curls and keep them healthy. Yes, my sister had her curls, but she is 14 years older than me, and by the time I was old enough to start learning how to care for my hair on my own she had already moved out to college and then shaved it off. So I had grown up following how my mother did her hair: washing it every day of the week, putting my hair up in a towel until completely dry, putting very little of the wrong types of leave-in in my hair, and then shaking my head up and down until frizzy-dry. It always somehow worked for her, but never for me.
And because I didn’t exactly know what I was doing, those who didn’t have curly hair for some odd reason thought that they did. I was always told the same things every morning before, during, or after classes…
“I like how your hair looks straightned better than it does curly.”
“You should just cut your hair straight across instead of layers, it’ll look better.”
Now I only recently began learning how to properly take care of my curly hair through the help of social media, or more specifically, TikTok. I started watching “how-to” videos, or “curly routine” videos all day long and wished that my hair could ultimately turn out like theirs. I would buy new products, some of which worked and some of which were extremely overrated, and test each of them out. In the end, I just wanted to be able to love my hair the same way everyone else seemed to.
And with that I began my journey, one that I am still currently on, to see what products work best for me. I’ve set my routine and bought new products to see which eliminate frizz best, hold my curls the best, and ultimately keep my hair the healthiest.
That being said, I wanted to create a platform for anyone who might have grown up with the same hair dysmorphia as I did—where I can write about my ongoing journey. This newsletter will serve as a journal chronicling my hair care journey, along with the various stories that have emerged from my experiences with different hairstyles.
My hair has stories of its own, and I wanted to make this a platform for those stories and my personal growth, both with my hair and my life.
Down below in my weekly updates, I will link products that I am recommending or currently using, and am open to any comments that may ask me to try out different brands, or ways of styling hair! My main plan is to go through different media-advertised hair care routines and see what truly works and what doesn’t.
I also encourage everyone reading in the future to follow along with the routines I do as well, and message me if things work, or don’t work for you so that I can get feedback.
Some pop-culture references I made:
The Princess Diaries (2001) — A movie about a teenage girl who lives in San Francisco and finds out she is part of the royal family of Monaco.
Tangled (2010) — An animated princess Disney movie released in 2010 about a teenage girl with long magical hair who lives in a tower.
Top 3 Hair Products I’m Currently Using & Recommend!:
Ms. Jesse’s Pillow Soft Curls Cream — This can be found at drugstores.
Not Your Mother’s Activating Mousse — This can be found at drugstores.
Milk_Shake Incredible Milk. — Can be purchased through their website or Amazon.
